a moment of silence..

I guess we would never be able to understand how short life really is. How there are times we really want to make the most out of it, but were not given the chance to. Sometimes, I feel really frustrated, and helpless as to how growing up means learning to accept the ways of life. There were many times I wished I have done things differently, hoping that maybe the outcomes might be better. Yet realistically, I knew that turning back in time is impossible.

I was definitely saddened by the news that one of my friend had just passed away in a motorbike accident. She was so young, with so much zest in life. Memories of how I met her flashed across my mind at an instant. I suddenly remembered the concern she showered over me when I was a mere 13 year old girl, sobbing over an incident that left me in fright. How I followed her to pluck mangoes from the tree behind our campsite’s kitchen, and pulled out my t-shirt to catch hold of them. She was the one who knew exactly what were available in our campsite that can be used for cooking. Plants like the curry leaves, chilli padis, lime, or even coconut, rambutans and mangoes for our refreshments. She was a great cook, a physically strong girl, a jovial and fun person to be with. I could not imagine how she could have been gone. She was the wonder woman of our department, probably the only one who can lift a stretcher up the ambulance on her own, the one who rides on a scrambler and play a tough game of rugby for our nation. Yet, a twist of fate took her away from us. The same bike she rides on caused her death.

As usual, I did not shed a single tear. Sometimes I hate myself for not being able to display my emotions. I regret not being the sort who keeps constant contact with the people I love, taking for granted that they will definitely be alive and well. I believe that her passing is a wake up call for me. That I should really start appreciating people and cherish them before it is too late. Yes, I know it sounds like cliché, but this incident together with Jonathan’s and Mr. Wong Kiao’s deaths made me open my eyes and start seeing things differently. I am at my quarter life, but I will never know if I ever live to see fruits of my labour. I will also never know which day is the last for me or my loved ones. If I am to continue with my lukewarm kind of attitude towards my friends, I may just live to regret it. I do not want to wait until the passing of an even closer friend before I am finally enlightened. I do not want to wait till it is too late and I do not want to live in regrets. I supposed I still cannot believe the fact that she is gone. I wonder if everyone who cared for her found out that she is no longer around. Do we have to wait till something crops up before we take the effort to keep in touch with a friend?

I am still unsure as to how I will react when I attend her wake. I just hope it is not too late to show her that I do care by paying her my last respects.

Lee Yan Ling, affectionately known as Jane, has left us on the 1^st June 2006. She had been a mentor, who guided me through my Red Cross days in the Training Department, a friend who lent me a helping hand when I was down. She was the one whom never failed to brighten up a room with her jokes or whipped up a sumptuous meal with her cooking skills. A combination of tomboyishness with a touch of femininity, she is a gem. A wonderful person gone too soon and she was only 27. Jane, you will be dearly missed by all of us in TD. I hope you are in a better place now.

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