It has been awhile since the last
time I saw her. Yet at the back of my head she is constantly on my mind. I hate
the fact that I miss her so much, but it seems like I am not even in her
thoughts. I wonder if she even cared for me enough to know about all the shit I
have got myself into.
The truth is that I do not want
to blame her. I understand that she has her own life, that she is busy, and she
has her commitments. But all I asked for was a simple SMS from her to show that
she does bother about me. I tried initiating meetings, I tried messaging, I tried
calling, all but to no avail.
I wanted to tell her my
disappointment. Yet I do not wish to know that what I want to say may hurt her
in return. I have seen her solemn face before and how she shed tears of pain. I
do not want to be the one to inflict such hurt in her.
She may have her reasons, but I guess
it really does not take much effort to check on someone you cherish, it goes to
show how much standing I have in her life. I am already on the verge of giving
up trying.
To me, she is such an important friend.
Maybe to her, I am just not as significant. Perhaps, this is just a friendship that
is not reciprocated. And all that is left are memories of us having fun hanging out
together.