Life’s a bitch..

I hate moments when I start feeling emotional for no apparent reason. I wonder if I am really discontent with my life, or am I simply lacking directions. I know that it is all but a cliché, but life has recently been especially monotonous. I see no passion in the things I do, every passing moment is just a drag to me. Is this all about growing up and growing old?

I miss the lustre I used to have in my life. I still want to be the gummi bear jumping here and there and everywhere. Am I conforming to what the society wants in a working adult?

I wish I have the courage to pursue the things I love, be more confident and put my best foot forward. I wish I have no regrets, and stop dreaming about what-ifs and could-bes. I also wish I stop dwelling on the feeling of heartaches and heartbreaks.

Love is a pain. Yet, life can be quite a bitch without it too. And in a sick conclusion, I’m a loveless bitch. Yeah, I love to poke fun at myself. I only hope someone is there to share my humour. Laugh with me, not at me.

Still, I am my own dependency.

I told myself not to be envious of others’ supposed happiness. Yet, I cannot help but to peer at the corner of my eye and wonder why can’t I have the same kind of smile the girl has on her blissful face.

Damned, I sound like a desperado already.

Yeah, yeah. You say I’m picky. Perhaps I really am. Precisely why I feel like kicking myself real hard now. Something’s wrong with me. Is it really that hard to reach for something I think I want?

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